I can't believe its 2012. This last year went by so seemingly fast! I also can't believe I fail at writing in this blog. I feel like with a new year, its a new chance to write some more. So here I go with the first post of twenty twelve.
So life lately has been fantastic. I will get to why in a post sometime soon, but right now I want to write about something on my heart today.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" - Philippians 4:6-7
I am so prone to worry. It's crazy. I was left with an unknown cliffhanger yesterday, which I need not get into detail. But at the moment I'm desperately reaching out for peace. My mind is racking itself over and over trying to guess what's up. I can't focus. I'm anxious.
So I'm sitting here in the Loft, drinking a Chai latte, trying desperately to cling on to peace. Hoping that writing something out will help. The verse above is so straight forward, yet so difficult. "Do not be anxious about anything" WHAT! It seems so difficult to not be worried about anything, but Paul is so forthright with following that with "the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts." I'm worried, and all that is repeating in my mind is this verse. But I feel almost as if there's an internal warfare of worry vs. don't worry. I'm trying so hard to just fall into His arms and trust, because I know that all He has for me is better than I can understand. However, I have a pit in my stomach. My heart has been racing. And my mind can't keep focus. Bruce Larson said:
"On days when life is difficult and I feel overwhelmed, as I do fairly often, it helps to remember in my prayers that all God requires of me is to trust Him and be His friend. I find I can do that"
I am so overwhelmed with worry right now, almost to the point of tears. I'm remembering right now that as I'm praying, what seems like ceaselessly right now, that He requires me to trust Him. I'm trying so hard right now to:
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart
Lean not on your own understanding
In all your ways submit to Him,
and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
I hope, wherever you are right now, whatever circumstance you're in, you're remembering this as I am. God is for us. The maker of stars, the ocean, and everything everywhere, is for us. It's incredible. I'm trying SO hard right now to stay calm, and be at peace with this unknown. I pray that you join in with me in finding peace in every circumstance.
With love,
Danual
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