Without You Here

So this without a doubt has quite possibly been the worst December yet.

As of now, I'd rather not pen every reason and every incident.

Maybe soon.

In the midst of overwhelming emotions, I turn to music. And my three helpers at the moment; Matt Thiessen, Jonny Craig and Taylor Swift. On top of that, I think I have discovered one of my most favorite albums:

Forget & Not Slow Down by Relient K.

It is amazing, passionate, emotional, depressing, uplifting and so much more wrapped into 16 tracks. I don't think I've listened to an album that at the time I'm in, I felt I could relate so closely to. It was as if the words that flowed from his mouth were coming out of my heart. So Matt, I thank you.

Emarosa is just an amazing band with amazing lyrics.

And Taylor Swift, she just has those sappy songs that you can relate to, and then her uplifting ones that just make you smile.

Well, I have one week left of break, since I'm not going to Winter Conference anymore. I'm done house-sitting the crazy big house (I actually enjoyed it a bit though). So, hopefully I find something to do. I'm nervous going back to school, away from my beautiful San Luis Obispo. Prayer would be greatly appreciated.

I'd rather forget and not slow down than gather regret for the things I can't change now.

-Dan

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Oh Love That Will Not Let Me Go

So, I am sitting in a Starbucks in downtown Fullerton.

You may ask why. I felt like doing something. Visiting people. So I did.

3 days in Fullerton seemed like an awesome plan.

So, as I've failed to write for the past month or more, I shall start now.

I can't recap what has happened in my life since I last wrote. So I'll just start afresh,

and hopefully keep up with this. I'll be jumping around, since I have so much running around on my mind.

It's December. I can't believe it! December already, and Christmas, 6 days!

It seems like the past few months have blown by.

Which mean so did my first quarter at UCSD.

College is difficult, more than I expected. I long for the familiarity of home, the intimacy of it, and having all my close friends. This first quarter I felt like I was just meandering through school, going to classes, sitting in my room, and playing soccer. Yes, I did get involved in Crusade, and the worship band, but I feel that once-a-week fix never really did much for me. Its as if nothing happened this quarter. No close friends, no people to call up. So upon acknowledging this, I reach out and try to grasp the past. Nostalgia kicks in. Which seems to happen a lot with me. I try to hold on to what I can from the past to somehow make me feel better, and I can't step into the future and realize what can happen. It's as if everything I do I want to scale against my life in SLO, or people I've met and grown close to.

Nostalgia nostalgia nostalgia. Why must you stick so close to my side!

Christmas break has not been all I've wanted it to be. I've wanted to be busy spending life in San Luis, but of course, instead I've been sitting around. That's why I needed to get out. And why I sit in Fullerton now.

I've always posed a question.

Why does God put things on our heart that can be so difficult, or you want SO bad to happen, and then it doesn't? I just don't understand it. It's like I feel God put it on my heart, and I pursue it, and somehow something goes wrong. It's like nothing I ever want to go right, goes right.

I love Sami and her family. What a joy it is to spend time with them. How I wished I just lived in Fullerton, and just spent time with her and them. I hate how when you love the time you spend, the time goes quickly. I wish and hope that today and tomorrow become the slowest possible days of my life.

And until next time. I cease my word flow.

Have a good day.

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