Without You Here

So this without a doubt has quite possibly been the worst December yet.

As of now, I'd rather not pen every reason and every incident.

Maybe soon.

In the midst of overwhelming emotions, I turn to music. And my three helpers at the moment; Matt Thiessen, Jonny Craig and Taylor Swift. On top of that, I think I have discovered one of my most favorite albums:

Forget & Not Slow Down by Relient K.

It is amazing, passionate, emotional, depressing, uplifting and so much more wrapped into 16 tracks. I don't think I've listened to an album that at the time I'm in, I felt I could relate so closely to. It was as if the words that flowed from his mouth were coming out of my heart. So Matt, I thank you.

Emarosa is just an amazing band with amazing lyrics.

And Taylor Swift, she just has those sappy songs that you can relate to, and then her uplifting ones that just make you smile.

Well, I have one week left of break, since I'm not going to Winter Conference anymore. I'm done house-sitting the crazy big house (I actually enjoyed it a bit though). So, hopefully I find something to do. I'm nervous going back to school, away from my beautiful San Luis Obispo. Prayer would be greatly appreciated.

I'd rather forget and not slow down than gather regret for the things I can't change now.

-Dan

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Oh Love That Will Not Let Me Go

So, I am sitting in a Starbucks in downtown Fullerton.

You may ask why. I felt like doing something. Visiting people. So I did.

3 days in Fullerton seemed like an awesome plan.

So, as I've failed to write for the past month or more, I shall start now.

I can't recap what has happened in my life since I last wrote. So I'll just start afresh,

and hopefully keep up with this. I'll be jumping around, since I have so much running around on my mind.

It's December. I can't believe it! December already, and Christmas, 6 days!

It seems like the past few months have blown by.

Which mean so did my first quarter at UCSD.

College is difficult, more than I expected. I long for the familiarity of home, the intimacy of it, and having all my close friends. This first quarter I felt like I was just meandering through school, going to classes, sitting in my room, and playing soccer. Yes, I did get involved in Crusade, and the worship band, but I feel that once-a-week fix never really did much for me. Its as if nothing happened this quarter. No close friends, no people to call up. So upon acknowledging this, I reach out and try to grasp the past. Nostalgia kicks in. Which seems to happen a lot with me. I try to hold on to what I can from the past to somehow make me feel better, and I can't step into the future and realize what can happen. It's as if everything I do I want to scale against my life in SLO, or people I've met and grown close to.

Nostalgia nostalgia nostalgia. Why must you stick so close to my side!

Christmas break has not been all I've wanted it to be. I've wanted to be busy spending life in San Luis, but of course, instead I've been sitting around. That's why I needed to get out. And why I sit in Fullerton now.

I've always posed a question.

Why does God put things on our heart that can be so difficult, or you want SO bad to happen, and then it doesn't? I just don't understand it. It's like I feel God put it on my heart, and I pursue it, and somehow something goes wrong. It's like nothing I ever want to go right, goes right.

I love Sami and her family. What a joy it is to spend time with them. How I wished I just lived in Fullerton, and just spent time with her and them. I hate how when you love the time you spend, the time goes quickly. I wish and hope that today and tomorrow become the slowest possible days of my life.

And until next time. I cease my word flow.

Have a good day.

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Trail of stardust leading to the Shooting Star.

"I could play the background
I could play the background
'Cause I know sometimes I get in the way
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
And I could play the background, background
And you could take the lead"

-Lecrae feat. C-Lite

So I've realized lately how life can consume my thoughts and actions

Yet I continue to let it guide how I walk and talk.

On Saturday I was at the Unashamed Movement

The Unashamed tour is:

A national tour by Trip Lee, Sho Baraka and Tedashii, along with DJ Official and special guest PRo.

This year's tour is themed "The Movement" in light of the growing body of believers from different backgrounds who are now united in Christ, living unashamed and dedicated to seeing the Lord made famous in every arena.

This fall’s tour will give 116 Clique members, throughout the nation, an opportunity to experience and be a part of the worldwide movement!

I spent three and a half hours listening to guys with multiple backgrounds rep Christ with their lyrics, and their words. The way the interjected the gospel inbetween the songs was absolutely amazing. I praise the Lord for men like this that spread the good news of Christ through hip hop.

Most importantly, it was the song Background by Lecrae that hit me the most. And the way Lecrae turned it into a worship song. The "hook" that I posted above was sung and everyone in the crowd sang it out loud as if it was a worship song. Arms raised, eyes closed, a declaration to God that he take the lead. It was incredible to see, and to take part in. We sang it a few times at the end, acapella style.

Arms raised.

Eyes closed.

Heart abandoned. (Jeremiah 17:9)

There I stood, proclaiming to my Lord to take the lead.

Its incredible how I want to run my life. How I think that this, that, and this would be better.

But like Creazy said,

"So let me fall back, stop giving my suggestions

'Cause when I follow my obsessions, I end up confessin"

Whenever I want to run my life. I fall down.

But, why won't I just play the background and let Him lead.

The one whose death paid my ransom, forgiving me of my sins and making me holy and righteous in His sight so that I could be brought into a good relationship with Him and know Him, love Him and value Him above all things.

What is it in my life that wants to take the lead. Be center stage.

I need to start embracing stage fright.

Exalt Christ, and not myself.

I must trust in Him, not in me. Provers 3:5-8, lean on Him, for I will only let me down.

Let me play the background.

The background.

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Map of the Problematique

So now that I feel like I've finally gotten time to sit and write.

I'm writing.

Its crazy how busy I've been. I swear I thought I'd have more time to write.

I guess it's just the fact that "sitting and writing" is not what I have time for.

I guess it's just I spend that time doing something else.

School is crazy!

It's like you can't even get behind one day.

A fourty-page reading will slowly build into close to a hundred!

I'm enjoying college though.

The one thing I don't enjoy is how much reading I have to do! Way too much.

Oh, and also, midterms are coming up.

Sociology this thursday. Five page paper + midterm the following Monday, and a music final the following Tuesday.

Sounds like a blast!

Oh, also, the teachers don't really tell you what you need to know. Great.

If it's everything, then I'm done for.

Social life is still pretty good.

Found Campus Crusade a couple weeks ago, its called "Real Life" here.

I also got plugged into doing worship there, so that's definately been awesome.

Two things I've prayed over the most, and God has blessed me with.

He is so darn cool!

So meeting new peeps and hanging with them has been awesome.

Also, the FLOODchurch is LEGIT!

The small group on Wednesday that I'm in is also great.

All five of the guys in it I get along with really well

Definately going to be a good small group to be involved with.

Looking forward to growth!

Hmm...

What else to add to catch you up on the past few weeks.

It's like I've had so much on my mind that I want to write.

But when I sit down and write, I can't remember it.

I'm definately missing having a "huge" group of friends.

Missing the fact that I could call them and hang out when bored.

My boredom now consists of "reading ahead" (which is never) or chillin in my dorm room.

1. Because I don't have a lot of people to call

2. Because I don't like to party like "college kids party"

So I'm sitting writing this during some free-time at Fall Retreat for Crusade.

It's nice to get away from UCSD for a bit, and spend time with fellow Christians.

Well I guess this isn't really spending time with them

But ey o ey, I needed some time to finally sit and write, and update WHOEVER reads this thing.

Prayer request:

That this stupid little cold goes away!

Of course I would catch a cold before retreat and before helping lead worship.

But eh, God does everything for a reason.

Another one of those "joy in every circumstance" moments.

I feel as if any other time I would have been fine with getting a little cold.

But God makes all things work together for my good.

Something else.

Watching people play the sign game is absolutely hysterical.

1. Because I totally suck at it

2. Because there are really funny signs

3. And the person in the middle just spins around so confused!

Life is good. Prayer is always needed.

Until I can think of more to write.

I'm peacing out.

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Carry Me On Your Back

So this weekend was definately fun. And interesting.

I loved it. I hope many many more come along.

So, I'll start off with Friday night, watched a terrible scary movie called Session 9.

Don't watch it. It's not scary. Nor does it make any sense. BLAH!

But, I felt as if I needed to be redeemed, so I watched Iron Man.

Esteban fell asleep with a priceless face on. Monica as well.

I was the only one watching it. Oh well. :)

So, then I woke up at like 11. Decided to go pull Monica out of bed. Physically.

That was fun. Then we just kind of hung out.

And then decided to go to the mall, and Ice Skate.

Here's where the weekend starts to get fun.

Last time we took bus 30 to the mall.

So we get on bus 30 again, and well.... sit.

Realize its not heading to the mall thats like a 15 minute drive. We don't know where we are going.

Turns out, two hours later, we're in old town San Diego. We get off. Then back on.

After some homeless dudes tells us jokes, and then me learning how

to braid hair, we finally make it to the mall.

So its four. Ice skating ended at 2.

And start at 8 pm again. So. For four hours, we walk around, shop, eat, waste time. Haha.

It finally turned 8, and I finally got to do what i wanted, ice skate.

I really love to ice skate. Its super fun :)

So Saturday turned out well.

Except Monica lost her wallet on the bus! BUT! The bus driver found it, and sent her a facebook message! Thank the Lord! I prayed so much :)

Then today was nice.

Woke up late, hung out.

Went to the beach, beautiful beautiful day.

Then went to the Flood church! (They have four services, one at 8 pm!)

So that was really cool.

The band was good, except its super difficult to follow a female lead singer, they sing SO DARN HIGH! Oh well though, I managed.

I loved the sermon on Ephesians 2. Just knowing who I am now in Christ, its so amazing to be redeemed! I love it.

All in all, good weekend.

I have four classes tomorrow, I hope I manage! Bleh. haha.

Wish me well.

With much love,

D

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Tell Me I'm Not Alone

College.

What a crazy thing.

I'm still unable to fathom it. Still in the summer-camp-mindset.

Classes started today. The two I had seemed fine.

History of Western Music and Intro to Society were both fine.

Don't seem too hard.

But I'm dreading the fact of actually having to do schoolwork, again.

Blah! Whatever though, I'll get used to it.

Got one class tomorrow, so that should be fine.

The last few days have been rad. Lots of Revellian fun (aka Revelle, my "college") and yeah!

I've made some pretty awesome friends, mostly my suitemates, Monica and Michelle. So thats good :)

So I don't know how to write out how I feel.

Life is different. But its fun.

A lot of movies. A lot of Mario Cart.

Hope all continues to do well.

Fearing the worst. Hoping the best.

Oh college.

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Graveyard of Empires.

So forgive me for not writing.

Its been hectic. Busy. Crazy.

And forgive me for telling you I'm not gonna write much tonight.

I'm absolutely exhausted.

Just got back from the Sun God Dance (aka a super awesome dance we have on Sun God lawn)

It was definately legit.

Funny coming from me. The kid who didn't go to a single school dance.

But I loved this one. Outdoors. Strobes, awesome lights, amazing techno music.

And of course, some dubstep.

I enjoyed it much. Though, maybe I might have too much.

I must say, college is going pretty well.

I could dig this for a while, but class actually starts soon. BOO!

Anyways. I'll write soon :)

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Take Me Somewhere Nice

"A family is a little world created by love."

I love my family. My great big family!

I have been so greatly blessed by the Lord for my big family.

I don't know what I could have ever done without any of them.

Today was my last full day in Slobispo.

It was also the night I said goodbye to the Talleys (first picture).

It was one of the hardest things I've done in a while.

I know, I know I will see them in December.

I know, I know I come back during summer.

But, not being able to see them every week is hard.

Karena. Violet. Daniel. The faces that melt my heart everytime I see them.

I love them like my own brothers and sisters.

I gave them all goodbye gifts to remember me.

Karena especially got my favorite.

First off, I'll tell you she has my first grade teacher, which is crazy!

So, along with having my first grade teacher, I gave her my first guitar.

She was so stoked.

But after saying goodbye to all of them, I got into my car and immediately fell into tears.

I couldn't control myself. It was all this emotion finally exploding.

No more Mom. No more Talleys. No more Boutte's. I'm on my own.

Its crazy.

Though emotion of sadness is shown.

Deep inside me I know I'm excited.

God has SO much in store for me. So much I can't even fathom.

I trust in Him, for I know He has plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11)

So, as I drive down tomorrow, move in on Thursday morning,

I would love your prayer for the next week.

It's gonna be crazy and different.

I love you all. I love my family.

~Dan.

PS: I don't leave till 3 tomorrow, text me and come say hi and bye.

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Rubadub Shakedown

So today is my last full day in SLO.

I guess I wouldn't call it "last" in the fact I'm coming back in December, and for summer.

But I won't be living here anymore!

Crazy! 18 years, and now I'm moving on to La Jolla!

I'm super excited and super nervous, as I've said a million times.

Its a melancholy moment as I drive around SLO for the last time in a while

Getting all the last minute things I need. Haha.

But yes. I'll be home tonight if you want to come say bye!

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Love Is the Only Thing

So I can't believe its coming.

A few days left, and then I leave!

It's crazy.

And there's so much I have going on this next few days.

My room is like spotless. Nothing on the walls, or anywhere.

I just need to find boxes to put everything in.

Then besides packing, I need to buy stuff that I need.

Then visit all the people around here I need to visit before I leave!

Crazy crazy stuff. I'm excited. Nervous. Sad. Happy. Everything in one.

Prayer would be so awesome!

Now besides this.

There's something that has ALWAYS bothered me, but more so lately.

Its: Those who taint the name of Christ.

To expand. Those who call themselves Christians, and totally go against the Bible.

Besides the fact, that if you asked most anyone on the street, they'd say they're Christian.

Besides that, it's the people who call themselves Pastors, and yet, are so unbiblical.

It's those people who are Christian, and forget to LOVE. Forget to show FRUIT. (Gal. 5:22-23) Or even just forget life is about Christ, and nothing more.

At the moment. One name really springs to mind. Rev. Terry Jones.

The dude whose comtemplating burning the Koran.

Really man? Contemplating? That shouldn't even be happening.

As someone who professes, and teaches, the Bible.

Something like that shouldn't cross his mind. Ever.

If, that is, IF, he really opened his Bible, He'd realize there are many many words in the OT, New T and words that Jesus says that should convince Him otherwise.

"He who says he is in the light, and hates his brother, is in darkness. He who loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him." -1 John 2:9-10

"Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs" - Proverbs 10:12

"Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself, I am the LORD." - Leviticus 19:18

Key word in every verse is LOVE. Without love, what do we really have?

The fact that He doesn't show it, let alone think it, quite rightly shows he should be sitting in the pews, learning about the Grace of God, definately not teaching it.

For he, like I, have no more right to have redemption, than Osama Bin Laden.

Yet, God is merciful. Full of Grace. He Loves us!

The fact is, one sin is no greater than any other.

Terrorist attacks are no greater of a sin than the hatred Rev. T-Jones is showing.

Like Matthew says, and I would love to emphasize and reiterate.

"Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves" Matthew 7:15

BEWARE of the false teachers that call themselves pastors, Christians, what not, but outwardly profess something contradictory to the Bible.

For those of you who believe we have a right to hate. Hate Muslims. Hate Athiests. Hate homosexuals. Whatever.

You are wrong.

We are called to love. Love no matter what. Love in the best times. Love in the hard times. Love the people we would love to hate. Love the people that are easy to love. Love those who have fallen so deep into sin they can't see the light. Love those who see the light daily.

I love the saying. Hate the sin, not the sinner. That is where we have the right to hate. Hate sin. Hate Satan. Love the sinner. Love the fallen. Love everyone.

Do not follow in the steps of Rev. Terry Jones.

Do not follow in the steps of Christians who hold up signs that say horrible things to homosexuals.

Do not follow the world.

Follow Christ.

His love shown to the broken. the wretched. the hated.

John 4 is such a perfect example.

He took water from a woman whom He shouldn't have associated with.

Read it. Believe it.

Act it.

For love is an action, not a word.

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Distant Shores

Today is Wednesday.

Which means one week.

One week.

Till I pack everything into a car.

And drive to La Jolla.

It's crazy to think about.

I'm so excited.

I'm so nervous.

What a change it will be.

Keep me in your prayers this next week.

For packing everything I want is going to be crazy.

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Forest.

So I've felt like the older I get.

The faster the weeks go by.

It feels like a day ago, I had four weeks till I leave.

Which has now turned to around two.

It feels as if a week ago, I was running around Hume Lake (tear. tear.)

Which is crazy! Why do weeks go by so fast.

Its like life flashes before your eyes. Its like:

"Well hello Friday. Here's another week gone"

Ah craziness.

And to add on to me "Getting old".

I was playing guitar on the couch today, stood up and my lower back ached.

It still does. Blah. I hope I'm not getting THAT old.

But. In the last few days, I've been reading pages, and pages of How To.

And what for, you might ask?

Logic Pro! Duh.

What is logic pro?

Um. Like my own studio. Of course!

I can record. Create. Do pretty much whatever I want with music I make.

Its pretty darn awesome. Though, its super confusing to learn.

But I will. Eventually.

But I wrote a song a while back.

Needed some "kit" (aka drum) added to it.

Plus bass.

And all the extra jazz.

So I had Casey come in and help me record.

So lately I've also been arranging the song (timing with drums. Guitar. Bass)

And I am SO close to finished. And it sounds pretty darn good too.

I need to add in some powerful oomph from an electric guitar.

But that should be easy.

Anywhoo. I think I'm even MORE obsessed with music.

And am definately going to keep buying equipment, for my own studio (some day!)

First on the list. Two monitors to hook up to the mac (so I can evenly see everything!)

Lately its been awesome to think and talk about discipleship at youth group

(Yes, I am still part of the highschool youth group, I don't want to give it up, yet..)

We've been looking at what it looks like to be a disciple.

Talmidim.

To make a long story short (if you want to read exactly what a Talmidim is, its super awesome, read HERE)

Back in the days of Jesus, children would memorize the Old Testament. Special students were chosen to continue study, and then even the few (very few!) of those, were chosen to find Rabbi's to follow. The students were called Talmidim. Disciple. This disciple did EVERYTHING the Rabbi would do. And they would follow in their dust (aka the dust kicked up by walking, no sidewalks!) These students were devoted.

It has been so awesome to think that, we didn't choose to follow Christ,

like these students chose their Rabbi.

Jesus chose us.

How unworthy we are to be His Talmidim. Yet we are called to it by Him.

But the thing I love about it. It isn't easy.

We are called to find joy in every circumstance.

Choose God over our family. Friends. Everything (Luke 14:26)

And deny ourselves. Everything we want. The things we think we should have! (Matt. 16:24-25)

What a calling. It seems so difficult. But I love the fact that I know it is fulfilling and sustaining.

Talmidim. Disciple. I am Christ's Talmidim.

It reminds me of the song.

Talmidim. What a wonderful one indeed.

Here it is. Powerful.

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Rocks into Rivers

I'm in a triple.

And at this moment you're like "what?".

Well today I found out my dorm. Room number. Dorm mates. Suite mates.

Oh and the fact that my room is a triple. Aka, three people sleeping in a room the same size as a double.

Great.

But, the one dorm mate that I can find on facebook is definately cool.

We're going to get along quite well.

His name is David. He likes volleyball. sports. music. xbox 360.

Yeah its goin to be good.

The other guy is from Alaska. So that should be fun.

I also just got off skyping with Tara. again.

So fun! I definately know that if I were having a terrible day, all I'd need to do is skype her, and I'd be happy.

Also. Tomorrow (or maybe sometime in the next few days),

I'm going to start making my "what I need/what to pack" list for college.

I haven't even thought of it yet. I still have three weeks though.

Which is crazy. Three weeks left in a place I've been for 18 years.

I'll definately have a blog about how crazy that is.

I don't know what to write right now, so I'll leave you with this.

Something I wrote a while back.

Thank You Jesus

I grasp the hammer, that drove the nail.

Covered in sin, in death, in darkness.

I drove it deeper, deeper within

Your frail and tired wrists.

I watch the blood, the sweat,

Drip down your ragged cheek.

The crown of thorns my hand pushed down

Into such an innocent head.

On that tree you hang so limp

Death, murder, lust and hate as well.

You try and pull your wounded self up

With every last gasp and strain.

My actions. My words. My thoughts

Contribute to such agony.

Yet, I continue on with them.

Without apathy.

But here I stand.

Because of you I am free.

No longer bound in chains of sin.

Free from the world and its temptation.

For my continuous part in your suffering.

I thank you for your grace.

I am nothing, yet you bid me.

Thank you Jesus.

Tree of Life

As a seed, you did not know

That soon you would become

The tree that gives me life.

Such a grand tree you grew into.

Flourishing with green,

Tall enough to touch the sky.

Though soon you were cut down.

No longer an admirable beauty.

You became wood.

Hacked, hammered, nailed.

You were put together to create

Death.

Carried up the mountain,

On the back of a half-dead bloody man.

Who struggled with every step.

Men pulled you up,

Where once again you could

touch the sky.

You felt the clash of a hammer.

Nails pierced through you.

You felt the weight of a man.

This man bled and struggled.

Oh, on you He was pained

With every shortened breath He took.

You felt Him cease movement.

There he died. Hung so limp.

On the tree that gives me life.

Around you the ground shook.

People hollered, fell to their knees.

It is finished.

Suddenly the weight was pulled off you.

The man no longer attached.

An empty cross.

Forever you are remembered.

You held the perfect man.

Who died for nothing.

On you hung the Savior.

You held a sinless man.

Who died for everyone.

Love yall!

Dannnny boy

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Catastrophe and the Cure

So today, and tonight were both really good.

Made $120 in tips, so that's always wonderful.
Bought new speakers, spent an hour cutting and trimming some wire so I can plug them into my sub.
I'm slowly prepping myself for college packing.
Yeah its all good :)

So today during my break at McLintocks, I started thinking.
For people that don't believe in God, Jesus, etc.
What is the point of life?

That somehow, we randomly were brought to life.
And then somewhere down the road we die.
And then there's nothing.
So everything we've done. Lived for.

Evaporates to nothing. We cease to exist.

Therefore, there's no point to life.

I don't get what the point of that is.

Life seems so utterly pathetic and pointless if so.

And this is what makes me so excited.

Because it seems like such a ridiculous idea that life is nothing.

There is definately something.

God.

And we have a life to live for Him.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7

and

"And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. ²⁵Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, ²⁶and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will." 2 Timothy 2:24-26

Why live for nothing when you can live for this?

Without fear. Full of love. For Christ.

And why? Because living for nothing, leads you to nothing.

Living for Christ leads you to. Well, Heaven.

"And there shall no longer be any curse; and the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it, and His bond-servants shall serve Him; and they shall see His face, and His name shall be on their foreheads. And there shall no longer be any night; and they shall not have need of the light of a lamp nor the light of the sun, because the Lord God shall illumine them; and they shall reign forever and ever." Revelation 22:3-5

It is so upsetting to know millions of people live for nothing.

That people believe they were some random existence.

And life ceases to be anything.

Why, what a saddening thought, people accepting that life just stops, and you become nothing.

Me? I'm proud to tell you, I'm a citizen of Heaven.

"For our citizenship is in Heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ; who will transform the body of our humble state into confromity with the body of His glory, by the exertion of the power that He has even to subject all things to himself" Philippians 3:20-21

Life is not lived as something insignificant.

Yet, we ourselves are not significant compared to the glory of Christ.

Life is meant to live for something greater than ourselves.

Not for ourselves.

For God.

Look into your heart. mind. soul.

What are they focused on?

You? I hope not.

Live for Christ.

Something far far greater than you.

That leads to something wonderful.

I urge you dear brethren, offer your bodies as living sacrifices. Holy and pleasing to God.

With love.

Dan

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They Move on Tracks of Never-Ending Light

Well hello. Smiles from me :)

Not really a smile. More like a growl. But...

Notice a difference?

Why yes. My teeth no longer have metal in them.

What a joy that is!

I got them off today. I've been waiting so long for this.

After a crazy expander. Crazy rubber bands. Jaw surgery. Etc. I am now braces free.

It feels weird. slimy. But so amazing.

Its crazy to think four years ago (January 6, 2006 to be exact) I first stepped into Dr. D's office.

With crazy teeth and an underbite. And now, I have neither.

It's so great.

The one thing I love about it most, is God's hand over all this.

I would not have been able to afford either, if God hadn't been watchin over me.

Dr. D took my case on for free. So did Dr. Bradley (the oral surgeon).

It always gets me to thinking about the sovereignty of God.

How majestic. How wonderful. How BIG He is.

It's so wonderful to trust in Him. I remember the days before jaw surgery.

Before orthodontics. Even today.

I worry about things to come. But if I just look in the mirror.

I can see He has, and will continue to do incredible things.

"Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one and calls them each by name. Because of His great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing" -Isaiah 40:26

I mean, the God who puts His hand on my life. Is the same God that calls each star by name. Who makes the sun rise, and fall.

So though I have so much on my mind right now.

So much I'm worrying about.

God is God. He knows what He is doing. When you can't trace His hand, trust His heart.

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Love is the Reversal

So as I continue to thoroughly enjoy my MacBook Pro.

There are new fun things that I've been able to do.

One of which was Skype.

So last night I skyped for the very first time.

It was actually really fun. Most likely due to the person I was talking to.

Tara!

I laughed so much last night. And made the stupidest funny faces and random noises.

It was one of the funnest conversations I've had in a while.

Most likely due to the fact, I haven't had much conversation in a while.

Life is so busy. Blah.

But it was nice to sit back and chat with someone.

Not to mention laugh. alot.

So thank you Tara for such a fun skype experience :)

Rabbit!

Tomorrow I'm going out to breakfast with Matt.

It will be the last time I see him for a while.

It's going to be awfully different not seeing him everyday.

Since he's been in my life since 8th grade.

I'm probably going to cry.

However, also tomorrow. I leave for Fall Forward.

Since I am the bassist for the band Flapjack and the Happy Campers.

So we are going to rock some worship and blow the roof off.

Yes. Be prepared!

Anyways goodnight.

Love always.

D

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Hold On To What You Believe

This feels as if its just a wonderful dream.

I awoke this morning to look at a MacBook Pro sitting on the floor of my bedroom.

Not as if it was a "surprise" because I've had it for a day.

But it still felt way too amazing to be real.

God is good! "For the Lord is good; His lovingkindness is everlasting and His faithfulness is to all generations." - Psalm 100.

And He really has shown it lately in the many blessings He's bestowed upon me.

Story time:

So, around four months ago, I applied for a scholarship that a family was giving to a student.

It was called the "Don Woodward Memorial Scholarship" and was worth $5000.

I had to write an essay, and all that jazz. After doing so, it turned out, that after becoming a "finalist" and having an interview, I was chosen as the recipient of the Scholarship.

I was so blessed. God chose me to receive the money because He knew I needed it.

So now, four months down the road, I call up Sandra Woodward (the mother of Don) (after receiving a letter from them about wanting to go to lunch.)

So I spent an hour and half at their home, talking, getting to know these people who were giving me $5000. I loved it. It was so wonderful just to listen and hear about their son and get to share about my personal life. After spending time at their home, we went to lunch at Firestone.

Again, after talking for a while and finishing up our lunch, they ask me to show them where the Apple Store is, and so I do.

Intermission: I have been working two jobs all summer to earn money for a computer so I can have one for college. I've been worrying lately because I haven't made as much as I had planned to. So I've been prayin' and, God already knew what was on my heart.

Story continuation:

We start to look around at the MacBooks. They asked me which one I liked. And I said, well the regular MacBook (as that was the cheapest, and one I was saving up for).

We continued to look at the MacBook Pro's (the more expensive ones)

One thing led to the next, and Sandra then said me "Me and Archie would like to buy you a computer for college." I was shocked. Amazed. Speechless. My mouth couldn't create full sentences for what seemed like minutes.

Here I am. With a wonderful older couple (who had been through such a hard time with their son who died from ALS), and who I had just met for the first time 3 hours before, telling me they wanted to buy me a Mac.

On top of that, they didn't want to buy me the "cheap" (aka $999 one), and instead, they bought me an $1800 MacBook Pro, a new printer, and a new iPod touch.

To this minute I cannot even fathom this. As I sit here, typing on my pro.

God has blessed this couple with such loving hearts. They knew my life struggle.

They knew how tough it's been for me. And they graciously did this for me.

I am still speechless. I'm trying to conjure up words to write the best Thank You card I will ever write, but words seem so utterly small compared to the gratitude my heart feels towards them.

I am so thankful of them. But most importantly, God. He knew my heart. My situation. My every need. And He fulfills it, constantly. Romans 8:28 says it all.

I sit here. And try to write.

But the most I can do is tell you a story.

My heart is overwhelmed with thankfulness. joy. adoration. love.

And my mind cannot pull the words from my heart.

I do wish I could find the words to tell you how I feel.

But I am lacking them.

It feels like a dream.

Thanks to the Woodwards.

Thanks be to God.

His love endures forever.

I can now say I'm ready for college.

With love and a speechless tongue.

Danual Lee

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Thank the Watchmaker

So something I can't believe I forgot to write about last night.

I went to the orthodontist yesterday.

Same old routine. Sit in the chair. Wait for Dr. Garret.

Oh but wait, this time, he told me.

I have ___ week(s) till my braces come off.

(I'm not going to tell you when, you'll just have to wait and see)

And I am now absolutely excited.

I wonder what life is going to be like without braces.

How cool!

But. For the next blank week(s). I have to wear these intense rubber bands.

Since I have no wire on the top.

The rubber bands like go up and down like six of my teeth on each side.

So I can't even open my mouth...like at all.

The thing with that, is I love to constantly eat.

I will eat. And ten minutes later, eat more.

I can't be taking off and putting on the rubber band everytime I wanna eat.

Ridiculous!

But... I guess I have to. BLAH.

Anyways. I'm really excited. Waiting for the days to pass!

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Let Love Explode and Bring the Dead to Life!

So I've wanted to write this for a while.

I don't even know why it took me as long as it did.

Just some rambling thoughts of mine.

So the day I was heading home from my surgery, we stopped at Del Taco. I was just sitting in the car, and a guy walks out of DT and tries and throws away his lid. He misses. Ha! But onward... He knows he misses it, starts to walk away, but turns, walks back, picks it up. Conscience conscience conscience. For the rest of the 3 hour drive, it got me thinking about CS Lewis' awesome proof of God through morality in Mere Christianity. I totally recommend reading it, it's amazing!

Here's a snippet of the proof.

"My argument against God was that the universe seems so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of just and unjust? A man does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line. What was I comparing this universe with when I called it unjust? If the whole show was bad and senseless from A to Z, so to speak, why did I, who was supposed to be part of the show, find myself in such a violent reaction against it?...Of course, I could have given up my idea of justice by saying it was nothing but a private idea of my own. But if I did that, then my argument against God collapsed too--for the argument depend on saying the world was really unjust, not simply that it did not happen to please my fancies. Thus, in the very act of trying to prove that God did not exist - in other words, that the whole of reality was senseless - I found I was forced to assume that one part of reality - namely my idea of justice - was full of sense. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, woe should never have known it was dark. Dark would be without meaning."

So that whole ride home I thought of this crazy argument that CS Lewis brought forth. Without God, how would we know when someone wrongs us? How do we know what is wrong and right? Government created laws based off of some sort of "justice" they felt people deserved. But how can they compare shaking a friends hand, to hitting them in the face, without a Moral Standard? They can't. A line isn't crooked unless you know of a straight line.

Therefore, sin isn't sin, wrong isn't wrong, unless there is a Good God to show us what is right.

So. What most people believe is that there was a huge explosion, brought the world into existence, life evolved from monkeys, which evolved from specs in space, and then, somehow, people figured out right and wrong? Right? WRONG!

"Goodness is, so to speak, itself: badness is only spoiled goodness. And there must be something good first before it can be spoiled." - CS Lewis

There could never be something bad, without something good first. God is good. His perfectness was handed down to Adam and Eve. They then ruined that good, and created the bad. Therefore, the right and wrong principle was brought forth to the minds of men.

I absolutely love thinking about this. About God. There are so many things that absolutely prove that God exists. That God is real, alive, and loves us. But there are also so many people that turn away, and decide not to believe.

But news for those that turn and decide to chase their own follies:

"God exists whether or not men may choose to believe in Him. The reason why many people do not believe in God is not so much that is is intellectually impossible to believe in God, but because belief in God forces that thoughtful person to face the fact that he is accountable to such a God."

-Robert A. Laidlaw

So let those of us that know this wonderful loving God, continue to run the race He's prepared for us. Allowing His glory to overtake any earthly desire of ours. Our God is full of mercy and full of love. Let's let love explode and bring the dead to life.

Titus 3:4-7:

"But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by His grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life."

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Roll Away Your Stone.

So I'm back to regular life now.
"Regular" as in no more sitting around due to my stupid nose.
Back to work, which is definately a good thing.
I was missing McLintock's. Not to mention, I'm now working more hours at Wayne's tire.

So this past week or so, I haven't really done much. Until now.
But I've got to say, that without my guitars, I would not have survived.
My Luna. My Yamaha. My Cort. I absolutely love them!
I play them so much, its almost as if my fingers are vigorously drawn to them.
The funny thing is though. I'm no "crazy" guitar player who plays crazy riffs and licks.
I love chords. I love the beautiful sound that comes as I strum one.
I don't think I want to be a crazy riff playing guitar player either.

Something else.
I haven't played soccer.
Or volleyball in quite a while.
And I dearly miss them both. I want to get out and play them.
I just can't find time. I want to put on my boots, and hit the upper V.
Or take a nice sandy approach, and swing into the back corner.
But where is the time! Soon, I promise myself. Soon.

Thirdly.
I don't know what it's been. But I've felt very lonely lately (well, most of summer).
And the only thing that's been keeping my mind off that is
Working. My guitars. And my music.
But in the few hours (or days) when I don't work.
I feel like no one is around to call. Or at least, I don't know who.
I don't know what I'm suppose to think. Say. Do.
I guess now is the time to anxiously wait for college.
New friends. People to call and hang out with.
I'm so utterly out of words when it comes to this.
I don't know how to accurately describe this. Loneliness.
But when I turn my gaze upward.
My heart heavenward.
And my mind outward.
I know I'm not alone.
Oh, I'm running to your arms. I'm running to your arms.

However. For some reason, unbenounced to me.
This doesn't fill my earthly heart's longing of feeling wanted.
I continually pray, and find refuge in the Lord.
But I do want to do other things with my summer, then work.

With love,
Danual.

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Oh Glory!

I'll fly away!

Just because I'm so obsessed with the song at the moment.
Enjoy it with me :)
Turn it up and SING!

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Oh Hallelujah.

So, Sing Unto His Name has made its way into the world.
If you are wondering, what? Who?
It is the second blog of mine.

The second blog that talks all about worship.
Songs. Sets. Meaning. Thoughts.

So enjoy it, when you're not reading these ramblings.
Maybe you can read those.

http://followingthebrightandmorningstar.blogspot.com/

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Every man is afraid of something.

That's how you know he's in love with you. When's he's afraid of losing you.

Thought that that was a nice quote about love.
Fits the occasion. Just finished the movie Valentine's Day
What a sappy love movie.
Fits a sappy boy like me. I loved it.

It brought me back to two posts I wrote many many years ago.

The first: Hopeless Romance

The second: There Exists a Melody

Love Love Love.

One of my most favorite words.

Write the word on everything that I would write on.

One of the things I've thought about most.

What is love? Probably the most asked question.

Answer? I have none.

Oh how I would enjoy writing about all my brilliant knowledge of love.

What door to open, what corner to turn, what alley to look down...

But I know nothing about it.

Yet. There is something in me that longs dearly for it.

That is reflected in my eighth grade mind in Hopeless Romance.

And is once again reflected here, and probably here many more times.

But this time, I'm patient. I know one day it will come.

I want to know why I yearn for it. But, truthfully, only God knows.

I have an idea though.

I believe we feel the longing, because God feels the longing.

He loves. and loves. And loves some more.

Never-ending. Never-failing.

God is love.

We want it. We crave it. We need it.

He gives it and He wants it back.

However, our love is based on feelings and emotion.

His. Unconditional.

He doesn't love us because we're lovable or because we make Him feel good;

He loves us because He is love.

Going back to what ours is based on.

I feel in my case my love is a girl.

The emotion I receive.

As is everyone's love.

It hurts us. It draws us into stuff.

And most of the time makes us feel good.

But, I want to really know what LOVE really is.

The only way to do that is to draw closer to LOVE.

And God is love.

A thousand times I've failed. His mercy remains.

Should I stumble again. I'm caught in His grace.

That is love.

I know, wholeheartedly, that if I draw near.

I will shine this love.

That is what I want more than anything.

To shine Him. Glorify Him in all I do.

I do not abandon my want for earthly love.

A love that will bring life.

A love that starts a family.

A love that reflects Christ and the church.

But instead, keep my focus on True Love.

And reflect that upon those around me.

Loving my savior. And my neighbor.

The most overused verse. But bound with so much meaning.

John 3:16. You know it, I don't have to say it.

That is what love is. I want to radiate it.

Encouraging you. From now until forever.

Put on love.

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