Folding Chair

"Just because everything's changing

Doesn't mean it's never been this way before."

-The Call

I have been listening to Regina Spektor quite a bit lately.

Enjoying every bit of it.

Her music makes me smile.

I always wish I had more time to scribble out all my thoughts and life.

But I mean, who can really do that anyways? ALL their thoughts?

To do that you would need thousands upon thousands of sheets of paper.

Thousands upon thousands of ounces of ink.

Do not forget time. You'd need lots of it as well.

All of which I don't have.

So, here I sit, ready to compose what I can at this moment.

I admire the quote shown above.

Everything's changing. I can barely keep up with how often I find myself

catching up with readings. studying for midterms. writing papers.

There's no set schedule in my life.

It's sporadic. It's hectic. It's energetic.

I want a break. And you may think it's here, three-day weekend, right?

Ah. Tis not a break, I'm accompanied with more catching up to do.

It's as if its unending. I just want to sit back and take a breath.

But there's nothing I want to, or can, give up in my schedule.

School, studying, working out, worship/bible study/church, voice lessons.

So I'll keep praying for a breather in my life soon.

I've been getting stressed, and upset.

I hate change. I want everything to go smoothly, perfectly, how I want it.

But then I realize, that isn't life. That's romanticism.

And this romanticism, therefore, boosts my selfishness.

My life becomes centered around what I want and when I want, and not around God.

I tend to forget that there is no such thing as a "Jesus Jack."

I can't take him out of the trunk when my car hits trouble.

But neither can I form the idea to "give Him the keys to the car," why?

Because it implies that I must give Him permission, must give Him control.

See the thing is, God is in COMPLETE control. He does what he wants.

I don't need to acknowledge it for it to be true.

I am not implying that we don't need to acknowledge Him though.

For when we do, we realize that He is in control, and He knows what He's doing.

He knows everything and His plan and purpose will ultimately prevail.

So, we can...

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to Him,

and He will direct your paths." - Proverbs 3:5-6

I hate how selfish I am, and how it clouds my mind.

But I believe in circumstances, in the midst of change, we must look at it with the right view.

If we look upon it as burdensome and negative, then the clouds will gather, and hide the sun.

But, when we see that it's God working in our lives (Romans 8:28), the son gets brighter.

Circumstances get smaller as God gets greater.

I urge you, to request that God would do whatever He needs to, in and through your life,

for His will to be done, and His kingdom advance. Not yours.

When we focus on the mindset that this life is ours,

we allow every wrong turn and every heart-wrenching moment to control our emotion.

But when we abandon that, and desire that He be glorified in and through our lives,

we have a hope to cling on to when the waters ride tough.

For we know, that the living God is our God. And He says:

"I know the plans I have for you...Plans to give you hope and a future" - Jeremiah 29:11

Therefore, I plead with you, as I plead with myself,

to drop our self-centered me, me, me look on every situation,

and acknowledge it in the hands of an almighty, wonderful, powerful, and loving God.

I know how hard life can be, I have struggled much lately.

But upon writing this to you, I write to myself.

I pen this out addressed to my heart, while typing it to you as well.

Life can't continually go our way, but it goes God's way.

It is not a life of perfection, but a life of fighting.

We must endure the tough, the saddening, and the heart-breaking,

For we know He is with us.

For in his arms we find peace. shelter. love.

In the arms of our Savior.

With love and prayers,

Danual.

All the way my Savior leads me

Who have I to ask beside

How could I doubt His tender mercy

Who through life has been my guide

All the way my Savior leads me

Cheers each winding path I tread

Gives me grace for every trial

Feeds me with the living Bread

You lead me and keep me from falling

You carry me close to Your heart

And surely Your goodness and mercy will follow me

All the way my Savior leads me

O, the fullness of His love

O, the sureness of His promise

In the triumph of His blood

And when my spirit clothed immortal

Wings its flight to realms of day

This my song through endless ages

Jesus led me all the way

Jesus led me all the way

All the way my Savior leads me

All the way my Savior leads me

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